The Menopause Moment: It’s time for change
By: Serene Arena and Surili Sutaria Patel
True or False?
- Perimenopause can begin as early as age 35, and menopause can occur as late as age 55.
- Menopause can occur over many years.
- Menopause is more than hot flashes.
If you answered TRUE to all three of the statements above, you are correct. If you didn’t get any of those right, you’re not alone.
We didn’t know much about the topic at first either. But for the past two years, we have been living and breathing menopause research, for both personal reasons (hint: we are in our 40s) and professional ones. The more we dig in, the more we realize that we — the societal WE — need two things: normalize conversations about menopause and shift the narrative in a way that can support and care for people. Call it a rebrand, a new way of thinking, deconstructing the status quo … call it whatever you want, just call it out loud.
But let’s back up a bit. We are both consultants at Metropolitan Group. We are also moms of young kids. It felt like only yesterday we were climbing out of the postpartum drivel of diapers, nursing, then pumping when returning to work, and all the sleepless nights. But here we are, climbing the career ladder, caregiving for our families, generally adulting. We are finding ourselves peering out into what comes next, and we want — demand rather — a better understanding of what that chapter of our lives holds. We aren’t just parents or employees, we exist unto ourselves (repeat repeat repeat). We deserve to enjoy this new stage of our lives. Go ahead and reread that but yes, we did say “enjoy.” If we’re going to be in the business of rewriting the narrative, we figure we need to claim it for ourselves right here, with you.
The facts
We offered three facts at the beginning. Let’s dive into what makes these three statements false.
- Perimenopause can begin as early as age 35, and menopause can occur as late as age 55. Turns out menopause, or the end of menstrual periods, usually occurs between 45–55, and perimenopause can begin as early as 35 years of age. However, there are other medical reasons some may experience peri- and menopausal symptoms earlier or later in life.
- Menopause can occur over many years. As explained above, menopause is a phase, in phases, over years, and early symptoms are often misdiagnosed or overlooked entirely.
- Menopause is more than hot flashes. Menopause is the body (and brain) recalibrating itself to live a life without needing to ovulate. At this juncture, our chemistry changes and the process can involve a whole host of things like — yes, hot flashes — but also brain fog, insomnia, change in taste and smell, etc. Most of these symptoms are temporary and can vary, making it easy and convenient in the public psyche to simplify it down to the most visible signs.
Getting over the stigma
It is WILD that menopause is such a taboo subject, since it’s a natural, biological, neurological process that happens to half the world’s population, most of whom then live a full third of their life after the fact. Long-standing stigma about women’s value and purpose, impossible standards for bodies and beauty, and societal fear of aging, have historically defined the narrative on menopause — and kept it taboo. This normal human function is so enmeshed with sociocultural perspectives that it’s difficult to separate what it is from what we associate it with.
A lack of public awareness (and in some cases, medical training and health care coverage) does a disservice to all people when we talk about social, cultural, and economic ramifications to siloing menopause. This is part of a larger discourse on women’s health care that we won’t go into right now. Suffice to say that there’s a lot of structural-isms involved here that have helped to build an internalized shame so intense as to swallow the topic, and the person, wholly into oblivion, so that generations of people have headed into this phase of life completely unknowing and unprepared. We’re left carrying uncertainty, judgment, and shame instead of support. Don’t we carry enough?
Shifting narratives
A huge part of the stigma is the overriding narrative: menopause is one of ending (literally, figuratively, and existentially). In both the public and scientific spheres, that narrative has been driven — and limited — by a focus on one biological function: reproduction. Without going on too much of a tangent, this is somewhat informed by who leads research and who uses that research (hint: representation matters). But if we’re talking strictly in terms of loss and utility — which we argue is misguided — we, as a society, have perpetuated a glaring oversight: that nature is driven by balance. In the natural order, there is no loss without meaning, without feeding into life (only humans create meaningless ends).
So here’s an idea, in light of all this: What is possible when ovulation ceases? We’ve been so focused on its implications — on what it takes — but maybe menopause gives us something too. The time seems right for a reframe. Social commentary shifts as demographics do. You may have noticed in social media and news outlets that the meaning of menopause is shifting to an empowered opportunity of becoming. As millennials and Gen Xers face down this next stage, and come to understand it through their own generational experience, the changing conversation course corrects for personal expectation, which is, WTF I am not done. Makes sense, as women typically live one-third of their lives postmenopause. 33.3 percent of your life. Lived. Menopause isn’t an end, it’s an evolution.
People experiencing the symptoms of menopause are the fastest-growing demographic worldwide. We’re seeing a critical mass shifting the private conversation into the public (dominant) one, replacing an expectation of external validation (a narrative imposed) with a narrative owned. What so many on the other side of menopause will tell you about is the extreme freedom that comes with it, biologically, socially, culturally … a completely different story than what we’re sold.
Transformation, not transition. “… think of it as women’s passage to power — we gain a lot of knowledge and we stop caring what other people think.”
The REAL change: shifting behaviors, practices, and places
What we’re experiencing is an opportunity to shift the narrative by talking about it clearly, factually, and openly. The REAL change comes in how we live this realigned truth, socially and collectively, because menopause is not “a problem to be solved.” (MIC DROP.) When we stop treating menopause as a problem and a loss, we shed the shame and the drivers of exclusion.
When we treat menopause as a reality to be understood and worked with, we open ourselves up to curiosity and collaboration. This isn’t to suggest that half the world kumbaya their way through a significant life event. We rightfully need to research and explore how to manage the process and its effects — through a lens beyond detriment, with a goal of inclusion.
Inclusion meaning: How much might we learn about all of humanity when we study menopause, which is driven by hormones and chemicals functioning in us all?
Inclusion meaning: How much might we grow as a society and economy by designing our workplaces and communities in ways that enhance and expand the best and most of all involved?
We mentioned at the start that we’re learning about this personally as well as professionally. Our client, The Menopause Society, just launched Making Menopause Work,™ a program that guides employers and workplaces to become menopause-responsive. Taking action — from creating more open conversation to updating policies and practices — can help people stay on the job and in careers, increase overall workforce well-being, and protect multigenerational workplaces. It’s a great place to start. Please join Metropolitan Group, and many other employers across the country, in Making Menopause Work. Free tools available at menopause.org/workplace.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter why menopause happens, why experiences vary, or why we are one of only a handful of animals we know to experience it at all. We don’t actually need to know why it happens in order to act, with intention and inclusion, on the fact that it simply does. Shifting cultural norms isn’t as complicated as we make it. We change by doing. Research can inform the tools to do it — this initiative is proof of that. Above all, get curious. Demand changes. And break the silence.
